34 years old. Couple of months ago, when getting my latest tattoo, the tattooist asked me how old I was. I honestly didn't know. I told her when I was born and roughly mathed it out. I think I came up with 35, because I'm dumb. Point is: Birthday.

I've neglected my Livejournal since the move... Partially because I'm lazy, partially because there's big shit going on that I'd rather work through than talk about working through (see also my Flickr account). Hopefully I'll get better at documenting where I'm at and what I'm up to.

This weekend has been wonderful. Took a long weekend ostensibly for my birthday, but largely to hang out with Kelli's mom. She's in town for about four days, and we haven't entertained her in over a year. It's very rare that we get to see her, so it's nice to make an event out of it. We got to do touristy things, which Kelli and I are woefully under-experienced at! Need to experience more fun shit around here. We stay home too much. Very self-absorbed. In addition to actual INTERESTING things we did (Like visit The Breakers and hit the Zoo), we watched an awful lot of Victorian Farm episodes. Fantastic Watch-with-your-mother-in-law stuff, that. Interesting and informative, but non-controversial and not emotionally challenging. Made for pleasant evenings, alternating from good meals (Everyone eats well in this town. THAT we know how to accommodate), and playing cards. "Playing Cards" always only means one game... It's a variant of "Contract Rummy" Kelli's family has always played that they call "Screw your neighbor" (although it seems to have no relation to other card games of that name I can find the rules to online). There's something immensely satisfying in passing the time playing cards. Games, man. Important facet of human culture and ritual.

Taking a day off (even though it's my birthday) still has me stressed a bit. I'm worried as hell about work, because everything's accelerating, and I need to pull my own weight. Hard. My company's been very good about not ordering long hours, but long hours are needed, and soon. It's exciting, but daunting. I wanna set an example and be the best I can be. Very high bar has been set at my studio. Need to live up to it. Combining this day off with the couple I'm taking off in a week or so (My folks are coming up around Thanksgiving) means I've got less time than I ought to have at a time when I need to be increasing my output.

That being said, the fact that I AM making a Livejournal entry (and getting my Flickr back up to speed) are good signs. Perhaps Normality's returning.

However, Normality will need to wait a bit longer to return! I need to bail off so's we can get up Buttass early to drop Kelli's mom off at the airport.

I'll be around.

-343

There was a time, approximately a year anna half ago or so, when i was walking home from work and wondering how stable things were going to be. In my life, at that point, nothing ESPECIALLY notable was going on. Sure, I was coming up on my 10 year anniversary with my sweetie-pie, but anniversaries, like birthdays, are just these arbitrary marks. They're not "something happening" any more than the passage of time is "something happening". Work was stable, but not especially eventful (long-term projects require a LOT of groundwork). The day-to-day procession was a comfortable pattern. I remember imagining what it would be like to be a Newspaper worker in the 1930s or whatever, enjoying cradle-to-grave employment. What would it FEEL like to experience patterns for 20 year stretches at a time?

Part of that novelty comes from the notion that 20 years ago is an ETERNITY when you're in your 30s. =) That, and it's naive to imagine a cradle-to-grave job in an industry that's gone from a couple of basement-dwelling weirdos making Commander Keen and Police Quest to WoW and Crysis 2. Add to that the fact that I've never lived anywhere longer than seven years... my notion of "putting down roots" is a little pear-shaped. So even disregarding all that, I'd had a good, four year run in Maynard and I was quite happy with our patterns and how everything was going. But good or bad, things felt stable. And I remember wondering idly "Wonder when something's going to destabilize?".

A year ago, I heard a dear work-friend of mine telling me she planned to leave her husband. Couple months after that, rumours started coming out that the company might be moving, and I'd have to sell my house an' get a new one. Then a college friend of mine got a divorce. Then another friend of mine started a new relationship. Then the move became official. Then a friend of mine got pregnant. Then Dear, dear friends of mine separated. Almost no-one I know is in a stable, predictable point in their lives right now. I guess none of us ever are, but it's harder to pretend, these days. For a while, the stress of the move was really getting to me. Perhaps it was the stress of the move combined with new medication, bad hours, not forging a strong direction at work... who knows. But it was heavy as hell. Now that I'm riding the wave somewhat (Purchase and Sale signed on the new house, timelines coming into focus), I'm trying to do what I can to help out all of my friends who aren't dealing as well with their own transitions... There's just a Whole lotta shit going on.

I very much appreciated my boy Feinstein coming in with the "Stop being Emo and call your friends" comment, back when I was posting something in freakout-mode. I've never had a lot of friends, but I like to think that the very small number of close acquaintances I've got CAN be depended on. An' I wanna be similarly dependable. We're all in this together.

Anyway, PERSONAL UPDATES, since I haven't Journalized in ages an' even my Flickr's are gettin' anæmic:

NEW HOUSE! It's all picked out an' junk. No idea when we're moving in f'real, but the closing will be relatively soon, followed by repairs and upgrades we can't afford to make. We're living off th' incredibly magnanimity of our friends who are puttin' us up, but Kelli and I are doing what we can to minimize the inconvenience. This involves a LOT OF SHOVELING. See, since the old house hasn't sold yet, we need to keep that driveway accessible for showings and whatnots. Since we're staying with gracious hosts, we want to keep THEIR driveway/sidewalk nice. Since we've gotten about [2/3rds of a Shaq](http://www.boston.com/news/weather/graphics/2011_snowfall/) of snow SO FAR this year, Kelli an' I have been super-busy. We STILL love snow and I really still enjoy shovelin' the stuff, but the shine's comin' off the apple.

JOB! Coming along well, actually. First studio in my life that's lasted longer than 2.5 years. It really shouldn't be that big of an accomplishment, but it's a record. As of last October, to be precise! One event in what I hope will be a long series of pleasant surprises and positively bucked trends from this studio. Hope, as ever, swings eternal.

PERSONAL PROJECTS! All packed up, sadly. RTC is still live, and I've been doing LOTS of tattoo speculation and doodling (for when the coffers magically re-fill themselves), but anything else I'd be working on is mothballed. I hope everything's still fresh and exciting when I can finally get back to it! PVD's a Super-artsy town, and there's lots of interesting classes I've been looking into. Ceramics casting? Stained Glass? Neat stuff upon neat stuff.

FITNESS! The corset laces flush (need to get a new corset, too, one-a these days), but I'm still about 10 pounds over my goal (I'm pretty sure everyone I've ever known who looks FINE but still wants to lose weight is "10 pounds out", so I'm probably fine). The new place is close to 3 miles from the office, so although I'm expecting a bus-trip for the shitty days, it might be a nice job for a decent, no-frills urban bike. I should investigate.

I got nothin' else. That's as much interesting as I can manage forth, an' it ain't that interesting after a while. =)

-343

I'm kinda freaking out. I've sorta been under a long, protracted, low-level freakout for a while, but I feel like it's bubbling up a bit. I might be undernourished and overcaffienated. Might be a lotta things.

Change is a weird thing. I want it... I genuinely can't wait to move and do the thing and start everything fresh. But it's also terrifying me in subtle ways. Kelli and I just bought a rediculously expensive gigantic sculpture. Why would we do that? I'm scared of spontaneity. I got a tattoo recently, breaking my every-four-years tradition. Why would I do that? Suddenly, it's Goddamned important for me to have tits and fight with Kelli. Now. Right now, it's Really goddamn important. Right now, I'm planning out two more arcade machines. We don't have the money for something like that. Why now?

Right now, I'm annoyed at my body. I'm 2/3rds of the way towards my goal weight (arbitrarily aiming at "me-at-18" weight) and everything's on schedule, but I look in the mirror and still look the same. Even if/when I hit my goal weight, I still won't have a feminine body. So I'm kinda stuck. Wanna get a new corset. Now, of all times. Idly thinking about a chest tattoo. Something else to design and think about.

We're about to go on a trip, Kelli and I. Be gone about a week and some change. We don't take trips. It'll be nice. I think. I might just freak the fuck out. I think I'll be okay. Ready or not, shit's all up in here in like, two days. Sometimes the juggernaut-like progression of time is a blessing.

If one wanted to design a plaque... say, four plaques, and affix them to the respective sides of an obelisk, who would they contact about such a project? Tombstone folks make monument work too, right?

I think that the fear of moving is manifesting itself in my reaction formations again. I think I'm manifesting change so's to better tolerate the change I'm seeing. Change can't be horrifying! I ORDERED IT.

It's two in the morning, but I've gotten outta bed to jus' ramble. Mebbie I'll beat off, mebbie I'll look up brass swivel-eye hasps. Or tattoos. Or trackball Mounting diagrams. Or hexagon tiling. Or male pattern baldness. Or malnutrition. Or more real estate in Providence.

I should do laundry. I've got a trip coming up. I should also prepare MP3s for the road. And contact people. And get a bathing suit. Bathing suits kinda piss me off, because there really isn't a half-way between boy and girl styles. I mean, they've got unixex competition one-piece jobs, but for casual beach-goin', there's nothing a dude can get that looks girly. Kinda drives home the fact that, without my clothes doin' the heavy lifting, I can't pretend as well. Not that Kelli WANTS me doin' that much pretending when I'm out with her, but don't think that shit ain't on my mind.

While I'm on a self-pity dysmorphic kick... I was looking at a reflection of a reflection of myself recently (tryin' to see the back of my head), and was kinda freaked out by how ugly I was. Usually, lookin' dead into the mirror, I'm generally okay, but yeah. It really bothered me, for some reason. I presume my peers could give a shit, but it bothered me. Wonder if all this stress and bullshit is contributing to my poor physical self-image.

Once the dust clears on all this shit I'm afraid of and freaking out about, I'll be up to my neck in new stuff all around me. This is a really positive and exciting thing! I needn't be so pouty and stupid-actin'.

Perhaps it's simply late.

-343

These days are exceptionally strange. Kelli doesn't read my journal anymore. Surprises. Conversations are heavy and ongoing. Relationships are complicated.

Dad asked me for a list of things he could get me for my birthday. Some kind of courtesy, since I'm a bitch to shop for and he wants SOME kinda help, even though I insist that I want for nothing. I asked for a house in Providence, Socks, and a couple of toys I've had my eyes on. Kelli insists that I should explain that it's a joke, but my response was that he WANTED options, and they're actually comfortable looking socks.

"Nothing's too good for you, so that's what I got ya"

It's raining outside. It hasn't rained in a Looooong time around here. The Assabet's lower than I've ever seen it. Seems like yesterday it was higher than it's been in a handful of decades. The other day, I saw a young fella (10 or so) down on the riverbank, fishing. I'm going to miss this dumb little town.

It's not self-doubt, precisely, but I'm not feeling the self-confidence I'd like. I'm behaving erratically. Need to get my shit together.

Can't design a new toy for the life of me. Can't even play games. Mostly distracted. I'm daydreaming about hollowing out a church and living in it. It's painful thinking about awesome future possibilities. The future may be better or worse than we hope for or expect, but it's almost never the way we envision it.

It's also not goddamn happening fast enough. I know everything will change, and it will change soon. New playgrounds, playthings, playmates... All of it. It's scheduled, it's getting arranged, and there's nothing to do about it. I'm simultaneously bored and amped. I could run off six properties (address, price, description and all) that I'm interested in moving to. Each one represents a different potential future. Different autumn walks, different area stores, different memories. Most of these possibilities won't exist. Hell, ALL of them won't exist, supplanted by some indeterminate future. Guh. Is maddening.

I'm glad Autumn's coming. I'm done with Summer. I jus' get weird around transition seasons. I also get weird around moves. I've been at my company two years last April. I've never been at a company longer than two and a half years. I appreciate the fact that, if Fate needs to fuck with me, it can at least have the decency to mix things up a bit and not have one of my several-year clockwork lifequakes revolve around a studio or project closure. Helps me feel like I'm making SOME sort of professional progress.

I never had any illusions about the game industry being a cradle-to-grave job, but I'd REALLY love the opportunity to settle someplace and just work on one damned thing for a decade. Ah, well. No need to be ingrateful. I've worked hard to make sure this is exactly the life I wanted for myself. Shitty of me to pretend like I wish it were any different now. Also shitty to demand that the future offer me security.

One-Sentance paragraphs are pretentious as shit. It occurs to me that I'm a pretentious motherfucker. I think I'm comfortable with that. Going from spoken-word poetry to frail, sensetive-boy pop on Grooveshark isn't encouraging any LESS pretention, I'm sure.

I think I kinda miss my parents. I might be moving come Christmas, and not being able to spend some sort of time with them saddens me. There's a distance between us that I think will always exist, because to close that distance would require compromises neither side is willing to surrender. Compromises neither side is willing to surrender being a painful and necessary part of participation in civilized society, I fear.

I'm going off in search of more lulzy cat pictures on the interwebs.

-343

Hey, everyone! New Flickr's Up! I've been lame an' haven't been postin' LiveJournal updates when I do my Flickrs. At the VERY least, that'd coerce me into journalin' at least once a month. Too much to ask, perhaps? NO I AM JUST LAZY

IN that aforementioned Flickr, you'll see alla the pix I brought back from San Diego... Hot damn I wanna make more toys. That shit's ALWAYS exciting to come back from. Sure, there's the Celebrity-seein', the movie/toy/comics/whatever news, seein' some-a my west coast peeps an' the SDCC Small Press regulars, the kinda-sorta five day vacation and (if we've done well) some extra scratch, but my BIG takeaway from San Diego is always Creativity. Mass-Market Saturated or not, that place is always BURSTING with Great ideas. All kinds of wonderful toys and paintings and sculptures and costumes and prints and just IDEAS. I love it so. Every year it makes me feel like a slug for not gettin' my shit together and doing The Thing. And I mean, Geez, I'm DOIN' it. I've got a damn 3D Printing company, I've helped make two vinyl toys, carvings, prototypes... I'm busy, but yeah. Always makes me feel like I gotta top my game. It's a Fantastic feeling. =)

COMPLETELY unrelated: I recently scored a bra an' some inserts, an' have experimented with havin' tits. Tho I'm pretty pleased with th' Results, I'm still kinda chicken to wear 'em especially frequently. It's really weird, because for ME, it's a HUGE massive big-deal thing to do, and I was kinda terrified when I wore 'em, expecting folks to freak out or laugh at me or set me on fire or whatever it is people are afraid of. Interestingly (and tellingly) enough, no-one said a word. Now, I had an overshirt on, an' I reckon it's easy enough for folks to not notice, but there's also the fact that people probably didn't CARE. When you get to the point where you can wear a corset an' heels without anyone batting an eyelash, boobs aren't much of an escalation. At any rate, I love what they do for my silhouette. I guess one-a the reasons why I'm so nervous about 'em is Kelli... Poor kid puts up with SO much outta me, and I know the tits thing is something with which she's _not_ comfortable. I mean, this approach is completely reversable, and I've been totally cool about not buggin' Kelli with my fascination for havin' tits, but the fact that I even got the things prolly bugs her. It's a rough line to walk, man. Bein' married to me ain't easy.

StarCraft 2: Been playin' it like a FIEND, recently. It's really awesome to stay up 'till four onna weekends slowly plowing scorched-earth style through bases with squads of siege tanks an' remember over a DECADE AGO when I was hangin' out with Kelli in Savannah, stayin' up 'till four onna weekends slowly plowing scorched-earth style through bases with squads of siege tanks. Feels good, man. I wish they had more high(ish) poly in-game models in the Armory! I've already ripped the Firebat for printing, an' I totally wanna do a siege tank (an' mebbie some spider-mines and perhaps a Banshee), but I'd LOVE to have higher detail versions of some-a th' Protoss goodies! Ah, well. In time.

It annoys me that some Lulzy (but plausible) web hoax comes out, gets debunked as a hoax almost immediately, an' I'm seeing some folks saying "Aw, MAAAN! I'm so Fucking Gullible! Damn." Seriously? Look, unless you sent someone MONEY, there needs to be a higher standard for the concept of "gullibility". I remember reading lulzy Readers Digest "humour in uniform" stories, and I never gave a shit if they actually happened or not. They were amusing anecdotes. It's fine. Obviously, "Fake Cancer Girl" and "Balloon Boy Dad" and shit like that are good to expose, because they're actually costing emergency personnel time and money. I jus' get annoyed 'cuz I've seen people make posts online that are something like "Oh, fuck. I was in a car accident on my birthday and broke my foot before the big dance and shit sucks." only to later see, after a condolences thread, them come in and say "LOL I TROLL U LULZ OMG SO GULLIBLE". *sigh* My scolding to 90% of the internet: YOU IDIOT CHILD. NO ONE CARES.

I jus' ate about a pound of Watermelon. Now is a GOOD time of year to be eatin' a pound of watermelon.

-343

Going on RIGHT NOW: Kelli and I have planned a trip to EPCOT. It's gonna be awesome. We haven't been since we were kids. Also gonna see th' Animal Kingdom thing, despite the fact that it will be (as a friend of mine put it) "The most expensive zoo we'll ever visit". Just as well, since after our trip to Florida, we plan to spend a couple of days in DC and compare/contrast to the cheapest Zoo we'll ever visit. As a general position, I LOATHE amusement parks, but I Love Love Love me some Epcot. Dunno whether it's because I have fun memories of th' place from Childhood or whether it jus' caters to the little-boy "Raguns an' Rocketships" æsthetic with which I'm so enamoured, but yeah. Should be good times.

Additionally, we're plannin' for a visit from Kelli's mom. We always have a good time when she visits, but we never have any idea really what to do. The woman's agreeable to a fault, and seems genuinely incapable of providing a strong opinion regarding activities, dining, etc. Hopefully we'll come up with fun things to do. We wanna be good hosts. Her trip up here was a birthday present, so we wanna make it special. Hard to get 'er up here from down Atlanta way, 'specially seeing as how the woman doesn't like flying.

Related to the mother-visit thing, we have recently seen and Wholeheartedly recommend "Passing Strange". It's essentially a stage musical about a young musician trying to find his place in the world, but it's FANTASTICALLY well done. Resonated harmoniously with alla my artist-friends. Has a lot of great beats about learning who you are as an artist, expressing yourself vs. Marketing yourself, what it's like to love someone without understanding them... Just a lot of great themes. And badass music. It's a thing. And it's on Netflix, in case that's useful.

Work is awesome and continuing apace. Terrifically frustrating to be working on SUCH a massive, long-term project. Everyone I know just loosely understands that I'm working on a video game of some sort, but it's hard to appreciate how busy I am when folks ain't gonna see the fruit for a good, healthy while. I can't imagine how some-a them Imagineer folks handle it, busting ass on Amusement park concepts that won't see the light of day for like, a decade.

So I got another tattoo yesterday. Sort of a graphic, simplified version of the Vault-Tec Logo. Got it tramp-stamp style, on the lower lumbar. I'll post pictures in th' next month's Flickr. Though I think the concept of a "tramp stamp" is funny, my artist informs me that the type of lady that used to get those is now self-conscious about the "tramp stamp" term and concept. New hotness for the ladies of questionable repute? The Skank Flank. Or so I hear. Anyway, my PRIMARY motivation for the piece isn't the fact that it's kinda target-looking in a lulzy location... That's actually pretty much the best location for the work, compositionally. The idea for it came from all th' Fallout 3 I've been playing (Still, I know), and thinking about how, despite the fact that it's been putting meals on my table for over a decade, I don't have any tattoos relevant to my love of games, gaming, and the games industry. Sure, there's all kinds of great shit in the Fallout universe, and many good bits about the Post-Apocalyptic fictions that I love, or nonlinear RPGs, or whatever, but I like showing my colours as a games nut. In thinking about the piece, I recognized that my tattoos as I've currently got 'em all represent loves. Love of the artistic process and Doing the Thing, Love of myself and my professional identity (BRANDING!), Love of Gender subversion (or, if one doesn't wish to get too complicated with the symbolism, jus' love of "Rockets" as a graphic element), Love of Music and nostalgia for adolescence... Lotsa love. So yeah. I reckoned gaming ought to get props. Otter Props. Mmmmmmm Otter Props.

Another interesting bit about this latest tattoo of mine. First piece I got? I was 18. Then 22, when I got married, then 26, when I was living in Northern Virgina. After gettin' that one (my Leg-Rocket, in case anyone's keepin' track), I realized I'd been getting them in four-year increments. That seemed like a decent enough pattern, so as I was coming up on my 30th, I reckoned that I should be thinking about my next "four year" piece, and came up with the hand-arrows. By that timetable, I sholdn't be due for a new mark for another couple of years, but part of me likes the idea of breaking patterns as much as I like holding onto them. I'm a fan of tradition, and I like for things to be as I expect them. I like stability, and I like patterns. That bein' said, it's kinda liberating to not be beholden to the patterns, either. These things are simply what we make of them.

Speaking of Flickr, I've been shitty about LiveJournalin' the updates! Did I mention the March Update? The April Update? Been a lot going on! Hopefully I'll mention it when I post May. Coming up in this month's update: New Tattoo, couple of great new 3D Prints, and Nipple Shackles!

Red Dead Redemption! Man O Man. I'm enjoying it quite a piece. I keep thinking of my dad, Wild West nerd that he is (homeboy CASTS HIS OWN BULLETS. That's kinda righteous)... The game's note-perfect in so many æsthetic bits. Night-time looks SPOT-ON like old crappy western "Day for Night" with the blue tint, harsh shadows, etc. It's wonderful. Seein' the puffs of locomotive smoke rising up over the hills as the train goes by in the distance, shooting the shit with random cowpokes around campfires... it's a hell of a thing. One thing that impresses me a lot about the game is that it's not a completely shit-ridden universe of evil. The first time I saw someone on horseback coming up on a trail, I got my gun out ready to return fire, but he was just a dude. You can actually be good and make honourable decisions, and the game rewards you. Shoot pistols outta people's hands, lasso 'em up, stuff like that. It's kinda neat. The motion actors are quite good, even though there's STILL some of that creepy wooden mannequin effect one tends to expect from contemporary OMG-REALISM games these days, but it's not overly distracting. The dialogue is well written and the story stuff has been fluffy but quite entertaining so far. Good time-sink.

Matter of fact, I reckon I'll go play s'more of it, now that I'm talkin' it up s'much.

-343

So, over in Sanspoof's Journal, I was buggin' her to repost ancient journal entries, an' since I noticed I've had my Livejournal since 2001, I reckoned turnabout's fair play. Following here is an entry from Eight years ago (I started in October of 2001, so I can't quite go back a decade):

====================================================

Planned to go into DC for that Poetry slam thingy... Didn't. Again. No real worries. I want to go to it one of these nights, but a good time was had... We went to Chinatown for some good Chinese food, then came back home. We would have liked to walk around a bit more, see what we could see, but it was a bit cold for such, and lotsa places were closed.

As we got out of the train at th' Chinatown station, a small, meek lookin' guy walked by, and his face Totally lit up when he saw Kelli. He looked at her like she was a long-lost friend, and said "Excuse me, are you in the sign of Virgo?" She awkwardly replied that she wasn't. When she told him that her birthday was June 26th, he proceeded to enthusiastically tell us about whose stars were within whose powers and influences etc. He politely broke it off by telling us that her birthday would land on a Friday this year, to which Kelli said "Thank you" and we went our separate ways.

June 26th, 2002 is going to be a Wednesday.

Last night, me, Kelli, an' Robyn spent the night over at Matt's place. It was Robyn's idea, the idea of having a "sleepover party"... Great idea. I felt bad that Kelli was sick, because when I think "sleepover" or "camp-out" or whatever, I always like staying up late. Like, later than everyone around me. And I wanted to stay up and talk and hang out, but Matt was working the next day, Kelli was feeling sick, and when I went up to hang out with Robyn after everyone else was asleep, she had nodded off herself. Ah, well. A fun time all the same.

We watched Heavy. It carries my recommendation. It's a difficult to advertise movie, and that appeals to me. Any description I've seen reads something like "Story of a fat guy". But it's a good narrative.

Made poor Kelli kinda bummed out, tho. Next time, she'll get to pick the movie.

For them cats what like the Puzzle games, I heartily recommend "Magical Drop 3". Why so many cool puzzle games were made for the Neo Geo, I'll never know. But good stuff they are.

I've upped my date now, so borf I go.

-343

====================================================

It's crazy to read this, because I was recounting precisely this anecdote (the crazy astrology guy) to a friend recently. It's comforting that my little anecdotes that I still recall to folks are all filed away in my journal's back history. I'm sure there all sorts of cool apps that can tell me the number of times I use the word "Buttsex" or whatever. I should investigate the fun things I can do with an "Eight years of journal" dataset. I ought to look back more often. Good stuff, that.

-343

Heya, kittens! New Flickr's up for th' month! It's fairly late on, so I didn't wanna spend too much time with the Blah-Blah. Life's pretty interesting these-a-days, though! I'm picking up PixelArt projects (more evidence of this in Next month's Flickr), Finally blowin' the dust offa Roböt - The Company an' getting the wheels turning (We've all been lazy an' distracted), and Preparing for San Diego (it's never too early)!

Man. So much so much. Also, work is keepin' me quite busy... I'm currently enjoying a very high activity vortex. Is enjoyable.

Have seen recently and very much enjoyed: The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, which I seem to have up until this point not seen. Curious.

Have seen recently and Enjoyed but is fucking awful: Karate Cop! Not to be confused with Karate Cop or the unforgettable Karate Cop. Interestingly, it was unrelated to "Karate Cop 3" and has nothing to do with "Karate Cops". Curiously, it _IS_ supposed to be a sequel to "Omega Cop".

Also, Assburger.

-343

Dream: I was visiting a game studio somewhere in Virgina. This was undoubtedly related to my recent visit to Big Huge Games, although I didn't recognize anyone, and don't think I actually set foot in the studio. I knew it was in Virginia (Chantilly specifically) because I had a conversation with some of the kids about good Buffalo wings in the area. I mentioned the Wing place up at the Dulles Town Center, and one of the guys said "Well, there's a NEW wing place up the way!" which referred to this place. Thing is, instead of Route 50, there was a river, and the studio was right next to the river, which was nice. We had a full-studio meeting outside on the banks of this river, and everything was nice and sunny. People were making jokes about ancient artifacts they had from the company... old floppy disks and whatnot. It was cool! Then, as the meeting was over and everyone was going back inside, I was hanging out with one of the environment artists, jus' shooting the shit. Looking downriver, I saw what looked like silhouettes of army men in a shallow boat, moving impossibly fast up the river. Some stopped and got out, climbing up the banks and disappearing. This freaked me out a little. I asked the artist if he saw what I saw, and he kinda laughed nervously. "Naw, we all hallucinate. It's something the river does. You get used to it". Weirded me out. Then I woke up.

-343

Jus' got back from a Wonderful weekend trip thingy with Kelli! We don't usually celebrate our anniversary, but we reckon thet th' 10-year mark is a good'un. We headed out to North Adams to check out th' bigass Art museum up there an' see what we could see, enamoured as we are of little New England Towns (that are about twice the size of the little New England town we live in). Even though we took Friday off, we barely had time to see much. The MoCA was very cool and quite worth burning a full day on (th' Flickr should have some treats), but we didn't get around to seeing the town hardly at all, which was a shame. The fact that it was 13 degrees out when we were tryin' to poke around the town didn't help much, but if you go touristing in the Massachusetts mountains in January, such is to be expected, I suppose. The mountains reminded us a lot of the smokies, which gave us nice nostalgias, although the "moose crossing" warning signs were a novel addition. The joint where we stayed was quite quite lovely. Heated pool! We totally shoulda brought our swimmies. They charged two bucks if you wanted to eat th' M&Ms they stock the room fridge with, but have gigantic cookies for free in the lobby. I partook of the latter. Additionally, the breakfasts were lovely an' the OJ was freshly squeezed. There were a number of area galleries all around the place, and there's all kinds of cool historic locations an' trails and cool goings-on in that town. Terrible shame we couldn't have stayed later. Still, we had an awesome time. We ought to jus' hoof it some random weekend and find someplace we've never been to go to. Enjoyable.

Also, we got letters from our respective parents congratulating our anniversaries, which was cool... The letter from my folks was a home-made job that included a picture of dad an' mom from their late 20s. It was Reeeeaaaallly weird to see. Terrifically sweet of everyone to remember, tho. I'm sure I couldn't tell you when my folks' anniversary falls on. Sweet: Paps hooked us up with a Cheesecake Factory gift card! Timing: Since I've actually been careful about what I eat lately, that means I'll only be able to use it if I have like, NOTHING ELSE in th' day. I know it should surprise no-one that a place who claims to be a manufacturing center of cheese-infused cake would have some luxuriously-caloried foods, but hot diggity. If you plan your caloric intake like a 40K assault, that place only serves Titans, Amirite?

Oh! One thing was interesting... Kelli an' I had dinner one night at some somewhat fancy Frenchish joint in North Adams, an' I got the weirdest kind of... it wasn't a panic attack exactly. It was strange. When we were ordering drinks (no drinks were listed anywhere... It was the kind of place that assumed that if you wanted a drink, you'd chose from the wine menu), I asked if I could get an iced tea. The dude told me they didn't have it, but if I wanted coke or juice or whatever, they've got those. I politely stuck to my water... but for whatever reason, I started feeling REALLY embarrassed. Okay. Here's what pissed me off. It's irrational, but roll with this thing here: They Serve non-wine drinks. They don't mention 'em anywhere on their menu. I've been places where they do this, and although I hate ordering off-menu, this is usually a tolerable exception, except when it doesn't work. For whatever reason, going out on a limb to order something trivial off-menu and being told it was unavailable somehow humiliated me, and I wasn't comfortable in my own skin 'till we left. I knew it was trivial. I knew it was meaningless, but it kept gnawing at me. When the dude brought the water pitcher for a refill, he wasn't paying attention and completely soaked the table where my glass was. When dude came to get the check, he had the pitcher for refills, and as I moved my glass to his side of the table, he picked up the check and walked off. These... these are non-events. But each one made everything worse and worse, and it made this little neurotic tornado inside of me. I was trying to be cool and not ACT uptight, but Kelli could see that I jus' wanted to bail. It didn't ruin the evening or nuthin', but it was interesting. I have strange neuroses about humiliation. If I get embarrassed by something, it can overtake me. I'm not really sure what it means, but it doesn't impair my ability to function in society really, and it's been with me forever... Jus' weird to see it manifest.

Haha! Okay. I've described a mild panic attack with as many words as I used to describe my anniversary weekend. This is stupid. I had a Wonderful Wonderful time, would do so again, etc. etc. Very much looking forward to goin' through my flickrs. Also, pixel-art projects coming along reasonably well. Will report more when there's more to report.

-343